Saturday, December 17, 2011

December 17, 2011

Have been busy unpacking my luggage, washing clothes, cleaning up the house and cooking for the whole day. Now in the living room watching 百万大歌星 on Channel U and having my all time favorite beer to end my Saturday night.

Ever since I started working as Project Sales in tiles in October, I've been mentally and physically drain out every single day. Visiting architects, designers, developers, sending/collecting samples, quotation, PO, DO, entertainments blah blah blah..... Max out my time I tell you.

Pay out is not bad, but still not eunff to cover my household expenses. Still as broke. Envy those who dont have to pay for household bills such as electricity, grocery, C&C, house instalment blah blah blah. I also wish I can enjoy myself after getting my pay. Eat, drink, shop... but I can't...

Whatever la, lazy to say already. Not in the mood, not in the feel. Bye.

Monday, September 5, 2011

很多事男人不知道.....

女孩子在他們發火後自己卻轉過身不斷啜泣。

其實很多男孩子都不知道,女孩子從來不會真正生他們的氣,因為她是真的喜歡他在乎他。


其實很多男孩子都不知道,女孩子只會對她自己喜歡的男生嘮嘮叨叨,也只會對自己喜歡的人耍性子。


你要知道,假若她不喜歡你,她根本不會來在乎你關心你,她是怕你做錯事情。


你要知道,假若她不喜歡你,她根本不會對你發火,不會沖你撒嬌,不會讓你哄她--因為在別人面前她都是淑女。


你要知道,假若她不喜歡你,你根本就沒有本事讓她哭泣,即使讓她生氣也不會超過2天!


而這一切都只是因為她喜歡你,而這一切都因為你還不夠在意她不夠懂她?


於是,你們時常爭吵,你認為她脾氣不好,她認為你不夠遷就她?


於是,你們總是冷戰,你以為她不喜歡你,她以為你不在乎她?


於是,你們總莫名其妙的彼此錯過,也許擦身而過本身就是一種悲傷著的無奈與幸福?


要知道,淒美依然是美的一種,並且美的絢麗悲涼而滄桑,那是更加的美


因為她喜歡你,所以才偶爾沖你發火,時常對你撒嬌。


因為她喜歡你,所以才會生你的氣;


而又是因為喜歡你,她才不會去生氣那麼久。


你可知道,每個女孩子的心都是水晶做的,晶瑩剔透,很容易就碰傷摔碎。


你可知道,每個女孩子都是不設防的,你那麼輕易就闖進她的心,走的時候卻只留下傷害!


她從來都不知道,這個世界上根本沒有可以讓她哭的人,因為真正值得讓她哭的那個人根本捨不得讓她哭?


她會很矜持,她會很驕傲,她會很冷,


她總是嘴裏說著(你走開),心裏卻一直叫你留下。


請豎起你的耳朵,也請打開你的心,去聽她內心真正的呼喚吧,而不是她嘴裏的口是心非!


她會看著你轉身,然後她跟著你轉身;當側身而過的時候,你看不見她的淚,那是滂沱在心裏的淚


如果你喜歡她,請多陪陪她;


如果你喜歡她,請多寵寵她;


如果你喜歡她,請多讓讓她?


如果你真的喜歡她,請你去聽聽她內心的聲音,那是一種吶喊!請你張開臂膀擁抱她!


在愛情世界裏,你們總是彼此傷害著,彷佛這樣才能證明自己愛得激烈,愛到轟轟烈烈!


可是,愛情沒有對錯,更沒有你比我多我比你少的概念。


你愛她,她愛你,如此就已足夠,不要試圖讓彼此受傷,讓彼此更加脆弱悲傷。


你們彼此相愛需要的是溫暖、是幸福、是甜蜜、是快樂,而不是傷害。


不要用沈默宣戰,不要互不相讓,更不要什麼話都不講就漠然離去。


要知道,當你離去的時候,你的眼睛起了霧,她的眼角泛著淚光?


越是安靜,戰火就越傳,這是冷戰,也是彼此的傷害。


無論以後怎麼的複合,那些傷口是曾存在的,是你怎麼也抹不去的?


請給她一個擁抱,用你的擁抱去化解她心裏的悲傷與眼角的淚水。


她喜歡你,她絕對不會拒絕你的擁抱,她只會害怕你的冷漠、轉身的無聲安靜。


請記住,相愛的人不要宣戰,因為帶來的傷害超出你的預計。


也請記住,只要你喜歡她,沒什麼是你接受不了的,只要你喜歡她,就喜歡她的一切一切。


那麼她所有的小性子、所有的壞脾氣、所有的臭毛病在你眼裏都是撒嬌。


也請記住,她喜歡你,需要的不是你真的轉身,她嘴裏說著的也不是她真心話。


她只是想你寵她,想你抱她?

September 05, 2011

I never knew that smile will be taken away from my face again. I never knew that I gonna have this kinda feeling all over again.

Watching "Why Do I Get Married Too". There's this part where a old couple share how they met and share their life together for 55 years. It might just be a show but it just reflect how much complication there is in a relationship. Pure love? I doubt so.

I love my hubby so much and I have no idea how things ended up like this between us. I thought time can change the fact that we knew each other too little and that we got married so fast.

No matter how hard we try, things still happen. Hurt and painful is what Im feeling now...

I hope this situation will go away and Im holding on to it...

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

April 19, 2011

324am... Still alone at home facing the cold wall...

945pm, called me to say they just started delivering the vegetables. I went to the kitchen, open the fridge and think, I shall whipped up something different tonight since its our 2 years anniversary. Although its not something sumptuous, but I do make an effort to think of dishes that I can make using the ingredients I had in my fridge. And so, I started preparing all the condiments and meat, take my time to cook it so it would be just nice when he comes home.

11pm, dishes all laid on the table... clocked ticks and he is no where to be seen. 12pm.. I'm hungry and so I started eating alone...

254am, finally called back. Told me that they just started delivering the 2nd batch... which he didnt tell me that there will be 2 batch to be delivered today.

Heart sanked... I always harbour this thought that someday, he would do something special to cheer me up during special occasion and well....this time round, very surprising indeed....

Took 5 hours to deliver a truck of vegetable to just 3 locations. Do u believe? Well sorry I DONT!!!

Out of the blue and u change ur work timing with ur cousin, did u even bother to discuss with me? Luckily Im not working now. If Im working, I would have been asleep by the time u come home and out for work when u r sleeping. So well I guess, family planning is not in ur schedule all this time. So what am I hoping for....

Great, disappointment again and again..

Sunday, April 17, 2011

April 17, 2011

April 18 2009, the day when Andrew and I got together. The day that predestined the rest of our life. Knowing him had been the greatest thing that happens to me. Thou there are times that unhappiness overwrite happiness, but putting aside all this, I'm still blessed. Blessed with his love...

We share so much things in common. There are so many things that we can so together and enjoy together. Of course, beside partying (which used to be my daily dosage). No matter what, marriage life is definitely so much different from single. There are some things that u can no longer do and there are so much thing that u have to think before doing. Nothing right or wrong about it, just that u have to get used to it that's all.

Tomorrow marks our 2 years. But down the road, countless of years waiting for us. We are still learning how to be a good wife/husband. It's not something u can learn overnight and master everything. It takes so much pain before u realise how some things can affect each others mindset and mood.

I always believe, u can't change ur partner to suit ur style and preference. All u can do is to change urself to suit theirs. Although I used to find that this is so unfair, but for the sake of loving ur partner, all this doesn't seems to be of any problems anymore.

I hope this learning process will get us somewhere...someday.... Somewhere which we no longer dwell on small issues and quarrel over minor things. Somewhere where I knew this has been what we have been wishing for.

Mr & Mrs Andrew Chua hereby marks our 2 years anniversary.....15 and a half hour in advance =)

Friday, March 11, 2011

March 11, 2011

Life is just simply unfair, but you cant blame anyone for it. I just need to shout out whats deep inside my heart, i cant hold it any more longer...

When i'm unhappy, I choose to face it myself cos no one gonna understand the real feeling... Telling that someone close to you is simply uselss cos he/she might not see it as a problem. Thats how depression comes about.

I dont wan to blame anybody for the misery but im upset... Really really upset...

I have no idea what is the truth and Im never gonna know it...

I told myself, nah.... its nothing. No a problem at all, but deep inside, its bothering me.

The day when I started my blog, I find it so stupid. Why should I be writing everything on the web and allows everyone to view all the stupid things ive done. As time pass by, i realise this is the only channel that i can feel free to write whatsever on my mind. For the past 3 years, my post have been getting lesser and lesser. Cos i know that there are some things that I cant share nor say....

I just wish someone will really understand my needs and what is important to me. I need that person to protect me from harms and treats. Protect me from the bottom of his heart, protecting me because... Im your wife.... Im tired of talking and entertaining. Please just be that someone whom i need, be that someone who can deliver the vows he said on 29 November 2009...

Sigh.... just another sleepless night....

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

我向来秉持着人不犯我,我不犯人的信念。但即使有时候让人踩过界了,我还是会睁一只眼闭一只眼。 但我的容忍是有限度的!不要太过份我告诉你!

好在我有一群很好的姐妹。不管任何事,任何时间,永远都这么挺我!让我可以很勇敢的面对所有困难和挑战。有时候,日子虽然很难过,但因为有你们,所困难都变得很简单。

姐妹们,我们一起勇敢地站起来,面对前方所有等着我们的难题!
I seriously need to get this off my chest before I start going bonker! 真的是好心没好报。实在是有够冤枉的。平白无故惹上一个疯女人. I HAVE ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT IM NOT GOING TO GET INVOLVE IN THIS MATTER! WHY ARE YOU STILL HAUNTING ME LIKE A MAD DOG! AND WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO CONTACT MY FRIENDS ABOUT THIS FUCKING UNTRUE MATTER!!!

ANDREW HAD ALREADY PAID YOU BACK THE MONEY WHEN HE STRIKE LOTTERY AND YOU YOURSELF WANTS TO TREAT IT AS HE GAVE IT TO YOU! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?!? STRIKE LOTTERY GIVE U $4K. U SIAO OR WHAT?!?!?! GO SHOPPING FOR PROPOSAL RING WITH YOUR MUM AND BOUGHT A $7K TIFFANY RING THEN CLAIM FROM ANDREW SAY TREAT THIS AS A PROPOSAL FROM HIM!!! FUCK TO THE MAX!!! WHERE GOT WOMAN LIKE YOU!!! U R THE FIRST AND ONLY ONE I TELL U! NVER PROPOSE TO U STILL CAN BUY RING AND ASK PPL TO PAY. HUHU!!! I SALUTE YOU!

But I tell u honestly, EVEN THOU if Andrew really owe you the money, Im the one who is in charge of his financial, I told him not to pay means NOT TO PAY. I told you that this not my problem and you insist to make it mine. FINE! This is now my problem and fuck you!

Dont let me find out that you are still disturbing my friends, I will not let the matter rest!

U better start realising who you are playing with and stop your crazy act! Fuck you Sammy Sam and Nicholas Goh!!!!

Friday, October 8, 2010

October 08, 2010

It has been almost 2 months since I started work at Builders Shop. Well, at least not banking anymore. HR is indeed something worth learning. Interesting and yet can be tiring too. Pretty happy over there, nice funny colleagues except for the $$$ and the tedious waiting for approval. Patiently waiting for increment upon my confirmation next month.

Nothing much to update, except for my sleeping time is now very chun ^^ times up and I will just show u the 'I want to sleep-look'...keke. Now is my BB whose timing is opp. Keep on chasing the HK drama. Really buay tahan him sometimes. Sleep in the morning then cannot wake up in time to go for work.

Hmmm.. talking about this, the art of marriage is really sometime u have to learn for the rest of your life. It doesnt ends at PhD. You will only get a 终身成就奖 when u die one day. Its nvr a easy thing. Once you decided to have that person by your side for the next 50years, you have to take all the nonsense, weird temper, bad habits...blah blah blah... Something u wouldnt get to see when u r just dating.

But still, It always feels good to have that special someone standing by you =)

Saturday, August 7, 2010

August 07, 2010

*weee* It's my Bday month!! Officially turning 28th.... Old liao siah!!! *Damn*

It's a week of roller coaster. Went for interview @Damean Marketing last Friday. Their Sales MD called up to offer me the HR Administrator position on Saturday. Started work on Monday and I resigned on Thursday. Wa lau eh. Power de lo I tell u. Ka dulan is I sprain my leg on first day of work in the office. Super power sprain la! My ankle swollen plus Boo-Brack lo. *TMD* BB still got to put aside his work and fetch me to Bukit Merah there to see sinseh. Stupid sinseh damn arrogant, BUT have to admit that he is good la. I dont feel the pain the next morning. Good de nor.

Anyway, BB is so nice to bring me for shopping @Jurong Point on Sunday before I start work. I bought 2 heels, 1 flats and 2 tops. BB even help me choose the design. I was surprised that he actually know what kind of heels I'm looking for. So I actually bought 2 different colours of the same design. Luckily I didnt bought the suit from G2000 cos the pants doesnt have my size. We happen to pass by GNC and we have been wanting to get some supplements from there. BB's cousin recommended us the Women's Ultra-Mega and dunnno what Dietary thing for BB. Hope it helps to improve our chance of pregnancy bah.

After which, we drove to Jurong Safra to have our take-away meals in the car. I had Sake & Tako sashimi and BB had Yashitori Bento. BB knows I love their Chicken skin and Pork asparagus, so he bought xtra stick for me. Sweet sweet nor *love love*

After out meals, we had a nice indulgence spa @Mastro Spa. Promo price of $58 for each person. The staff there is so nice that they actually request 2 staffs to stay back just to do our business as they've already closed for the day. Shiok to the max but BB finds it okay niah.

Anyway it still feels good going back to working life. Provided that the job is what I want and no more shit jobs like the last one. Of course I'm still actively finding jobs and Charlene dear dear is so nice to help me hunt for job thru her recruitment agency.

Meantime, I'm back to Tai tai life again (for the time being). If I've yet to find a job by 20th, I'll be following BB to India Chennai for 2 days. India....sounds scary. Haha!!

Now @BB's Bedok Reservoir office waiting for the National Day Celebration Dinner to start at 7pm.